Happy End?
by Virgenie
Summary: Being a father is not easy. Even House knows that. Follow House and Cameron through parenthood.: HAMERON!
1. The beginning

"Congratulations Dr. Cameron. You have a beautiful baby boy." Cameron glanced down at her boy, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"He´s perfect", she whispered, kissing his cheek and holding him close to her. Chase sat beside her, a wide smile on his face.

He was a father now! He couldn´t believe it. Smiling down at the little boy he stretched out one arm and stroked the underside of the little boy´s foot.

"Hello little one", Cameron whispered. She still couldn´t believe that she had created this tiny boy.

Chase and Cameron had come back to PPTH 4 months ago. She was working as an senior attending in the ER now, he as a member of the surgeon staff.

Cameron was already five months pregnant when they came back.

She felt so lucky with the thought of becoming a mother the first time when she found out she was pregnant and now she hold her son Nathaniel Matthew Cameron in her arms; 2 round, blue eyes peering up at her. A perfect picture.

* * *

Something they didn´t notice was the blue-eyed diagnostican standing outside the door of Camerons room.

He peered inside and swallowed hard. Even if he tried to tell himself over and over again that he was over her, it felt like someone was ripping his heart out when he saw the two of them happy, calm and just fine.

Happiness. Something he never believed in. A word which was so hard to define.

Had he ever experienced happiness? A question he would never find the answer to...

Lost in his own thoughts, he stared at the tiny boy cradled in the arms of the young, blond doctor. Those eyes...He knew those eyes.

Better than anyone else.

Those eyes held something special. Something House couldn´t describe. Shaking his head, he turned his back on them, leaving the young family alone.

This little secret locked up in House´s heart should be locked there forever...

* * *

"House, I heard Cameron had her baby?" House rolled his eyes. Foreman was standing in front of him staring at him with amusement.

"Wow. You never miss out the obvious."

Foreman had come back a few months ago, because he hadn´t been able to find a job elsewhere. Now he was back at diagnostics as a helping hand for House.

Foreman shook his head and sat down at the conference table next to Taub,Hadley and Kutner. The new fellows. Hadley was reading a fashion magazine while Taub and Kutner were occupied with a crossword. That was the daily routine of a staff member of the most important department in the whole hospital...very nice.

"Don´t wanna visit wombat and blonde girl?", House asked looking at Foreman.

"Well, I was going to. But I think I will wait for a little while. I think she wants to spend time with her baby now. Do we have a case?" House, who had popped his Vicodin-bottle again just shrugged his shoulders and decided that he had more important things to do than wasting his time with the saving of other people´s lives.

So he walked off to his office and closed the door. He wanted to be alone now...

* * *

**Hope you like it.:) If you want some more please review.:)**

And sorry if there are any mistakes. I´m from Germany.:O)

And thanks to hameronaddict aka literatigirl for helping.:)


	2. How it happened

Sitting in his chair, House was staring at his computer, trying to clear of his mind.

He couldn´t stop thinking about that little bit of wrinkled life, lying in his mother´s arms. This tiny boy. Blue eyes, cherubic face...

Lost in his own thoughts House didn´t notice Wilson appearing in his office.

"Hey House. I heard Cameron had her baby?"

House rolled his eyes. Why couldn´t they just leave him alone?

"First Foreman. Now you. What´s the matter with you people? I do not fucking care if Cameron had her baby or not",he snapped and stared back at the monitore.

"Right", Wilson answered with a stupid smile on his face. He knew that House cared, but he also knew that House was too damn proud to admit it.

"What? I´ve always been sure Cameron would be a great mum but with wombat on her site, she will raise a loser kid."

"Then you should go and rescue her", Wilson answered, still smiling.  
"Sure", House said, rolling his eyes again.

"She still loves you."

"No, she doesn´t. The only thing she loves about me is my damn leg. She wants someone she can fix. She wants someone who´s damaged." Wilson sighed.

"House. Just let yourself be happy. Believe it or not. You really deserve that much. No matter what people say about you. And by the way: I think Cameron is the only one who´s able to kick your ass. She has changed. She´s more confident now and I think she really loves you."

"You should change the department and start working in the physican wing",House answered, trying to ignore what Wilson had said. Wilson just shoke his head.

"Think about it".

House looked up from his computer but didn´t say anything. There wasn´t anything to say. Wilson was almost through out the door...

"It´s not Chase´s son you know."

Wilson turned around and stared at House in disbelieve.

"What?"

"Hearing loss or something? He isn´t wombats fucking son", House snapped.

"Does...does that mean..."

"Yeah Mr.obvious. He´s mine."

Wilson was now staring at his friend with wide eyes and his mouth open. House? A father?

"But how...?!

"I´ve told you about our one-night stand,right?"

"Yeah,yeah. You did.But I..."  
"Well, then you know how_ it _happened."

* * *

_**Flashback**_

_"You really want to leave?"_

_Cameron stared up at him, __her arms were crossed firmly over her chest__. She tried to hide her feelings. The feelings of sadness and pain._

_His question was burning like fire inside of her. Her heart was breaking. But she also knew: She had to leave._

_She never wanted to see him again. For 3 years she had tried to break down the walls he´d built up for so long, for 3 years she had cried herself to sleep, because the pain she felt for not having him around her, was too much for her to handle._

_They both stood there in silence..._

_"Well, I´ve gotten all I can from this job. Now, it´s time for me to move on." She slowly made her way up to him. One hand of hers moved to House´s cheek and began to caress it._

_Without having any control over it House started to stroke the corner of her mouth. Then he grabbed her by her waist and held her close to him. Cameron´s eyes went wide by his sudden movement. Then, after a short moment of time, her head was laying on his chest. She could hear his heart beating fast._

_"House...", she whispered._

_" Want to spent one night with me?"_

_Her head snapped up. "What?"_

_"You want to leave without knowing how it feels to sleep with me? You love me."_

_"No I don´t. Im over you House."_

_"Liar."_

_"I´m not..."_

_"Yes you do. Everyone lies. Remember?"_

_She looked up at him, still confused. Cameron could feel the emotions building up inside of her again. But she tried so hard to ignore them...a little to late..._

_She looked up at him again, before crashing her lips against his. She could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheek, when they let go from each other for catching their breaths._

_"Just one night", he whispered. In that very moment Cameron decided to let it happen..._

_"Okay", she whispered back, caressing his grumpy cheek with her left hand._

_10 minutes later they were at his apartment. This one night they just forgot about everything..._

_ **Flashback End**_

* * *

"And both of you didn´t protect?"

"I thought she was on her pill, since she had spent so many nights with wombat. But it looks like she didn´t protect. Stupid woman."

"House, please stop acting like a 5 year old."

"Mooom", House whined and started playing with his ball again.

Wilson just shook his head and turned to leave again. It was pointless.

* * *

**Well. Sorry it took so long. Here is a new chapter. Hope you like it. And thanks for all the reviews guys. I really appreciate it.;) Please do not stop.:)**

(And sorry again if there a major mistakes...)

**hameronaddict aka literatigirl: Ich hab dir den Teil vor ein paar Tagen an deine Addy geschickt, die du mir in der letzten Mail gegeben hast,aber da nix zurück kam dachte ich, du bist vielleicht zu beschäftigt und ich konnte einfach nicht länger warten. Sorry Wenn du jedoch wieder Fehler entdeckst, lass es mich wissen.Dankeschööön nochmal.:)  
**


	3. Guilty

James decided to take a look at the blue-eyed wonder. He knew his best friend had feelings for her but he was too proud to admit it.

A few minutes later James stood outside of Camerons room, peeking inside. He could see the sparkle in Chase´s eyes while cradling the little boy in his arms.

Cameron sat on her bed watching both of them. She didn´t show any regret or guilt. She just seemed to be happy but...James knew better.

He opened the door with a slight smile on his lips and went inside.

"Hey", he whispered.

Cameron looked up and gave him a slight smile before turning her gaze at her son again who was still sleeping peacfully in Chases Arms.

"He really is a show off", James smiled and took a closer look at the tiny boy.

"Thank you", Cameron beamed at her colleague and friend.

James ran his hand through the little bit of dark hair Nat had. He couldn´t help but agree with House: He looked exactly like him.

"Gimme". Cameron held her hands out, welcoming her son with open arms. Chase laughed and placed the sleeping baby in her arms.

She still couldn´t believe that she just created this little guy.

Suddenly the boy opened his eyes,yawned and peered up at his mother with his astounishing blue eyes.

"God", Cameron said tears spilling down her cheeks. "Look at him."

James looked at Cameron and knew the tears weren´t only tears of joy. Some of them were...But the others were for the thought of how she could never tell House.

That was something Wilson was so sure about.

"What´s his name again?"

Cameron beamed down at her son before answering James question:

"His name is Nathaniel Matthew Cameron", she whispered, stroking her sons soft cheek tenderly.

"Can I hold him?" James really wanted to know who it felt having a little House in his arms.

"Sure. But you might want this. He just ate." She gave James a blanket he could drap over his shoulder before carefully passing little Nat to him.

"Wow." James wasn´t able to say something else. It felt...strange.

"He really is something", James said after a while.

"I have to agree", Chase said still looking like Jesus had returned to earth.

"He has beautiful blue eyes."

With that said Camerons smile faded. Those words just broke her heart. Suddenly she felt the overwhelming desire to run to the toilets and throw up.

She felt guilty for not telling House about becoming a father. She had left without a word. How would she live with that in the near future? She just didn´t know.

And how would she say Chase he wasn´t the father? He would be devastated.

Cameron sighed. How would she deal with her problems? There were so many questions she didn´t know the answers to.

"Yeah, he really has", was the only reply she was able to give. She felt tears welling up in her eyes but she was willing enough to not let them spill.

*************************************************************************

House sat in his office. He was pissed. Why couldn´t they just leave him alone with this fucking baby?

Of course he didn´t like the sight of Cameron and Chase playing happy family with HIS son, but he was House. He would never show.

No one would ever be able to look inside of him. It was no ones business.

He´d never seen himself as a father. He´d never seen himself visiting football games or parent-teacher conferences.

House shook his head. It was scary enough that he just couldn´t stop thinking of this boy.

To forget Cameron and everything else he grabbed his PSP and started playing. He had to forget about her.

She deserved better. _He_ deserved better.

***************************************************************************

Wilson left a few minutes ago, as well as Chase. Cameron was alone now. She thought about House.

Of course.

She couldn´t help it. She just couldn´t stop thinking about him and the fact that she didn´t tell him about her pregnancy.

She looked down at her baby and smiled sadly. It wasn´t his fault. She had to be there for him now. She created a new life, a real little boy who needed her full attention. She just couldn´t let her feelings interfere. She had to hold them inside, even when she felt she might die.

"I´m so sorry", she whispered, stroking her son´s cheek. She let the tears fall freely now. She couldn´t stop them from falling anymore.

She felt guilty.


	4. Realize

Darkness filled her room. The sky outside was lit by the splendor of the moon. She stood there, looking out the window, smiling.

She´d always admired the moon.

Now she stood there and watched the moon rolling along the hills till she would lie on the bottom of the sky, like a gold doubloon.

It was beautiful.

Cameron smiled and took a deep breath. She turned around and stared over at the crib next to her hospital bed. She swallowed and carefully walked over to the crib before peeking inside and watching her son sleep.

Cameron had a big and warm smile on her face. She took Matthews little, right hand into her own and sighed, while rubbing a thumb over his delicate knuckles and once again starting to think about House.

She would never be able to forget about him…

The guilt was nearly unbearable.

And… she still loved him.

**The hospital-roof…**

He stood there and breathed in the warm summer air which stroked his hard face.

He couldn´t forget about the little boy.

Auburn, curled hair.

Beautiful, blue eyes.

Angelic face.

He was just perfect.

The opposite of what _he_ was. He was a drug-addicted, old cripple.

_Miserable._

_Broken._

He wasn´t the one the little boy deserved. He deserved better.

It was scary enough for House that someone, who barely had lived yet, was able to agitate him. How could that be?

The warm feeling that was beginning to arise within him when he first saw the small baby cradled in Camerons arms.

The lump in his throat.

He´d never felt like this before. What was that? He just didn´t know.

For the first time in years he stood there in complete ignorance.

_Step._

_Step._

_Step._

House turned around and locked eyes with his best friend, who had an amused smile on his face.

House rolled his eyes and looked away.

"What do you want now?"

Wilson stepped a little further and took a deep breath.

"I was there. I wanted to see the little offspring. He is a beautiful baby House."

"Whatever", he growled and turned away from Wilson.

"He deserves a father."

It seemed like Wilsons words hadn´t reached him. He tried to ignore them and leaned over to watch the cars down there.

"Well he has wombat, right?"

Wilson sighed. Was this conversation going anywhere?

"But you are the father House. You should-"

"I´m going to do nothing, get it? She´d left me and didn´t even bother to tell me about him."

Wilson sighed.

"You had continuously pushed her away for almost four years House. She was scared. "

_Silence._

House turned around and looked at Wilson. He swallowed hard before hobbling to the entryway. The last thing he heard was

"You´ll never find a woman like her again. Don´t screw it up."

* * *

Cameron still stood there and watched her son sleeping peacefully. She loved just to look at him. She couldn´t do anything about it but to be honest: She wouldn´t want it any other way. The love she felt for the small boy couldn´t be described in words.

_Wow. She loved being a mother already._

She smiled when the little boy started to whimper.

"Shhhh", Cameron said and picked the small baby up. She carefully stroked the baby´s back and walked up and down in her room in attempt to soothe little Matthew.

She felt the exhaustion taking possession of her body but didn´t let go off her son.

After a while she placed the baby onto the bed and sat before him.

The little boy peeked up at her and struggled his little legs.

She smiled, while her heart started to constrict in her chest.

House.

Matthew just looked like him.

How would she ever be able to go on like this? She had Chase. But he wasn´t the one she wanted here. She wanted House. It never had been any different.

She´d started to love him from the first moment she´d laid her eyes on him. She needed him. She wanted him, but she knew she would never have him.

And why?

Well she had been too scared to tell him about becoming a father. She´d left him behind to deal with her problems.

_A huge mistake which could never been undone._

_

* * *

Hi there. Sooooorrrryyyyyy you guys. It took me far too long. I know this and I´m so sorry. I will try to add faster this time .:)  
_


	5. Alone

The dark sky was dumfounded and the rain poured down the sky like waterfalls. People were running down the street, trying to save themselves from the rain.

Some people didn´t leave their house at all.

The streets were dark and the street lights did little to enlighten everything around them. Everything was filled in darkness.

Cameron sat on her windowsill and looked out the window. Her eyes followed the cars which sped down the streets and looked at the hectic people who still ran around, drenched with rain.

She sighed and ran her right hand through her long blonde hair. Then she opened her window to let the fresh air into the room.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she closed the window again, because it started to get cold. She´d always been a chilblain.

She could hear car horns and dogs barking from far away.

She could hear sirens.

A little smile crossed her face. She felt like home again.

She opened her blue-green eyes and looked at the little rain drops, which streamed down her window. She lifted a finger and traced it down the window pane, trying to follow the little droplets. The floodlights of the cars which passed by, lit the drops in bright light and created a beautiful play of colors.

Blue.

Green.

Violet.

Yellow.

She´d never seen something like this before. It looked absolutely beautiful.

She was far away now. In her own world. In a world without worries and pain.

She´d had a tough week. The birth, the guilt of never telling House about his son.

Everything.

She really didn´t know what to do. She´d always been good at running away from her problems, but she knew she couldn´t run away this time. She knew he would show up sooner or later. He would solve the puzzle and would find out about his son. He only had to look into the baby´s eyes.

Beautiful, blue orbs.

Her heart jumped at the thought.

Cameron sighed and looked at her watch. It was 10 pm already and the baby was currently sleeping.

´What do I do now? `, she thought. She hated to sit around and do nothing. She already missed working in the ER. She knew she had to be there for her baby now. He needed her. Especially when his current father wasn´t really his father, but a young Aussie who really was a pain in the ass and had a bad taste in clothes.

Cameron rolled her eyes at the sight of Chase before her inner eye; talking to her son as if he were stupid and all the ´Ahhhs´ and ´Oooohs` Chase gave little Nat, when he first saw him.

She really was happy for some reason, that Chase wasn´t Nathaniel's real father. Maybe he´d catched his bad accent then.

At the thought of Chase Cameron felt guilty again. How would she explain to him, that he wasn´t Nathaniels father? He was an idiot, but Cameron cared for him anyway. He wasn´t his boyfriend. Not for her. For her he was just a close friend. Nothing more. There would never be more. She´d tried to move on with him, but failed miserably.

Chase would be devastated.

Cameron couldn´t think she could deal with it. She hated to hurt people, especially those, who she really cared about.

She started to laugh bitter. She´d always cared about the others and swallowed her own problems down.

This habit had destroyed so much in the past…

She heard her son giggling in the background. Somehow he was the only thing that kept her alive at the moment. He would be the only reason to go home to.

She´d felt lonely before her son had been born.

Parents? Died a few years ago.

Friends? She didn´t have much time to keep friendships alive. Med school had been more important.

Brother? She didn´t even know where he was.

Well, loneliness was the price she had to pay, if she wanted to be a great doctor…

Cameron stood up and walked to the crib, which was situated near the fireplace. She peeked inside and looked at the little baby, wrapped up in a fluffy, blue blanket.

Cameron didn´t want to think about the time when her maternity leave would end. She clearly wanted to go to work as soon as possible, but the thought of leaving her son at the daycare really scared the hell out of her. The ER wasn´t a good place for a baby though.

Well, if she´d still work in the diagnostic department it would be so much easier…

Cameron sighed again. She missed working at the diagnostic department. The cases, her co-workers. Everything had felt right.

Working in the ER was a different story. She´d to busy herself with car-crashes and bloody knees. No excitement at all…

Why did she came back to PPTH anyway? Well, she´d missed the people and soon realized that Arizona wasn´t for her. She loved Princeton and its modern apartments with the huge windows and the friendly people, she´ d met here.

And she´d missed House.

Great. Now she´d admitted to herself, that she never had been over him. He still haunted her, wherever she was. In bed, at work…just everywhere.

She had tried to convince herself that she was over him and promised herself to throw him out of her heart but it was harder than expected.

Why couldn´t she forget about him? He´d treated her like crap all the time and had made pretty clear, that he didn´t want anything to do with her. He´d stolen her heart, but wouldn´t give his in return.

A pact without reward.

She couldn´t forget about him. He was stuck in her mind; with his blue eyes, his leather jacket and his stupid PSP.

She still loved him.

_Knock._

_Knock._

_Knock._

Her head snapped up when she heard the familiar knock. Wood on Wood. Unmistakable.

Cameron felt her heart break. What would she do? What would she say? She didn´t know what to say, because she knew she had no right to hide his son from him. He was here to get answers and Cameron knew that she wouldn´t be able to give him the answers he wanted.

It wasn´t a game to her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

_Well folks, there is a new chapter and as you can no doubt see longer than the other ones. I wanted to make it up to you. :D_

_Well, I really confused some of you with the name of the baby. His name is Matthew Nathanial House. But I´m calling him differently at times, because it sounds strange to say ´he´ , ´her son´ or ´Matthew´ all the time. This way I have another way to name him. :D_

_And: I really hope it is more detailed now.:)_

_Thank you guys and please review!!!_


	6. Talking

Hello there, thanks for your reviews!Well I´m kinda stressed at the moment, but I promised once I would be a little quicker with my updates and so...

Here is the new chapter! Enjoy and please tell me what you think.:)

Have a nice day!

* * *

She sat there and looked at the still closed wooden door.

He was there and she didn´t know what to do about it. He would push her, would force her to give him the answers he wanted and... to be honest, she was weak enough to break down and play along.

He was her weak point.

He was her addiction and she didn´t see a way out of it. It seemed like she was captured in the dark without a way out.

Was it good or bad?

She didn´t know.

She sighed. The knocking had stopped. He wasn´t a very patient person. Maybe he´d left.

_Knock Knock._

Again. Cameron could feel her body tense. Her hands were shaking and her eyes were bloodshot.

She felt so weak.

She could hear the drops that escaped the water-tap, she could hear the thick arms of the weeping willow next to her condo, which hammered against the window, hell she could even hear a dog barcking from far away.

Cameron rose to her feet and slowly walked up to her front door. She stood there and listened if her son was still asleep. She couldn´t hear a thing and took a deep breathe.

She softly opened the door and locked eyes with her former boss, who leaned against the door frame with an expression she wasn´t able to figure out.

Anger?

Sadness?

Curiosity?

´What are you doing here?´

She tried to sound strong...

´Well I drove around a bit and thought I might come to see how you and the little wombat were.´

´We´re fine. He´s sleeping and I really would like to keep him that way. Your knocking could´ve woken him up.´

House shrugged and looked down.

´Uhm, want to come in for a while? I could make you a cup of coffee if you want.´

She felt uneasy and she was sure that House already had noticed.

He nodded and entered her apartment, looking around curiosly.

Cameron watched nervously as House shuffled about the room, taking in his surroundings, looking at the boxes which cluttered the room.

´House...´

Glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, he noticed her disheveled pale face and brought out her blue-green eyes, which were ringed with dark circles. Though she was as beautiful as ever.

´House...we need to talk.I...´ Her voice was shaking.

´Isn´t it a little bit late for that?´, he asked, refusing to meet her pleading gaze.

He knew about his son, didn´t he?

The raw anger in his voice didn´t really suprise her. She knew it and still she had no idea of what to do or to say. She just stood there and looked at him, her heart beating fast. His tone was enough to tell her what the look in his eyes had caused her to suspect.

´Why didn´t you tell me about him?´

´I had my reasons. I had to do it, I...´

´WHY? You had no right to hide him from me. He is my son aswell´, he yelled.

´Would you keep your voice down?´ Cameron demanded, her own anger level rising. ´Nat is sleeping and I don´t want him to wake up. So shut the hell up.´

She was very angry now.

House's nostrils flared and his eyes blazed, but he did not say anything, because he didn´t know what to say. It was more than obvious that he really was pissed off with the situation and he couldn´t just let it drop.

´Again...why did you leave?´

Cameron was slightly taken aback by his rough tone.

´How did you find out you were pregnant?´

Cameron took a deep breath, her gaze wavering. ´Why?´

´Just tell me Cameron.´

´Well...we had that night together...then I missed my periode and a few days later I puked my guts out every morning. I took a pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant...I wanted to leave before my belly would show...´

House sighed and was about to freak out again.

He slammed his cane agains the table.

´You had no right to do this. What the hell were you thinking?´

Cameron jumped and looked into the direction of the nusery. The little baby started to wail in a heartbroken way. Cameron swallowed hard and looked House dead in the face.

´You son of a bitch.´, she whispered before hurrying torward the sound of the cry.

House stood there in silence and even felt a little bit satisfied...but just a little bit. This feeling, however, abated, when he remembered that he was still standing on the same spot in her living room. Alone.

It would be so easy to just walk out.

front door was just a few steps away from him. It shouldn´t be THAT hard to leave.

Briefly inclining his eyes to the ceiling, his thoughts and emotions ran rampant as his jaw worked furiously.

Which upper force had him taken here?

He sighed and looked into the direction of the hallway,before following Cameron to take a look at the crying child. When House arrived at the room he glanced in and watched Cameron who cuddled her child and kissed her sons cheek to calm him down. She rocked him and whispered soothing nothings in his ear.

Only a loving mother was able to love her child that much. He could feel it. The thought of how much Cameron loved a person that was part of _him_ scared the hell out of him.

Suddenly House felt a pang in his chest, something he´d never felt before. Warmness. Satisfaction. Everything.

He closed his eyes, when Camerons beautiful voice filled the room, singing a lullaby for the baby...

_Good night my angel time to close you eyes  
And save these questions for another day  
I think I know what you've been asking me  
I think you know what I've been trying to say_

_I promised I would never leave you  
And you should always know  
Where ever you may go  
No matter where you are  
I never will be far away_

_Good night my..._

Cameron stopped and looked up, when she sensed that he´d followed her and looked him in the eyes.

Blue-green eyes which were staring into deep blue ones.

Cameron carefully stroked her sons head and stood up, walking torwards House. She could see how uncomfortable he looked with every step she took torwards him.

His jaw dropped, when he saw the deep blue eyes of the baby. He´d seen them already but it still effected him in a way he didn´t feel comfortable with. He swallowed and looked at the baby cradled in his mothers arms. Curious eyes peered up at him, trying to focus.

´House...this is your son Nathaniel Matthew Cameron.´

She took the blue blanket away a bit and rested him on her shoulder, than turned around so the baby could look at the strange man before him.

_Silence._

I was scared you would abdomen him. You shut everyone out of your life who cares about you and you push everyone away, because you can´t stand the thought, that out there could be some one who really loves you. You built up a wall that no one should be able to force down. And you know what scares you even more? People, like me, who are able to creep inside your heart, people who have the power to force that said wall down.´

Cameron looked at her son and stroked his little foot.

´Maybe...you two´ll get along very well. You´ll teach him how to annoy Cuddy when he´s older and how to be a real pain in the ass...but after a while you´ll be bored and you´ll let him down. I can´t let you do that to my son.´

Cameron didn´t turn around when she heard House turn around and leave.

She knew it.

She swallowed and rubbed her sons back. He started to whimper again.

It would be a hell of a night...


	7. Poor Nathaniel

_´Hi Ally, what´s the matter?´_

_´Chase?It´s Nathaniel. He vomited and has a fever of 103. I´m on my way to PPTH now.´_

_´I will be right there.´_

_´Ok.´_

Cameron closed her eyes. She had to tell him. She already felt guilty for letting him believe he was the father of her son but she had the gut feeling that telling him about her sons sudden illness now was wrong either.

A vicious circle.

**10 minutes later...**

House ran his hand down his face, still glancing at the whiteboard when Cameron rushed into the conference room, carrying her son in her arms.

´House?´

He turned around and stared at the little boy, who was clinging onto his mothers neck for dear life, whimpering softly.

House swallowed hard and looked away. He couldn't stand looking into her eyes at the moment. Too many things had happened between them.

´What do you want now?´

´Something is wrong with him. He vomited two times in a row and has a fever of 103. What´s wrong with him? I don´t think that he has the flu or something.´

´We will see. Maybe you just freaked out about nothing and _it is_ the flu.´

Cameron rolled her eyes at him and followed House down to the clinic. She felt uncomfortable and didn't even know why she'd paged House in the first place but when it came to him it seemed that she always did things that weren't in her nature.

_She was in love with this man after all._

The clinic, of course, was a madhouse. Doctors ran around from one room to the other with files clutched in their hands,Patients coughed, sneezed and behaved like they'd catched a terminal illness.

Cameron kept on walking.

´Shh Baby. It will be ok´, Cameron whispered and placed a kiss on the babys cheek but it didn't really help. The little boy started crying as soon as House began to check him out. Listening to his breathes, checking his temperature.

Cameron stroked Nathan's back, while House checked out the inside of his son's mouth, which turned out fine. The boy's blood pressure was low.

´We should admit him. I think it is nothing serious but I want to run some tests just to be sure.´

Cameron swallowed and nodded silently, avoiding his gaze. She couldn't look him in the eyes. She felt guilty. Sad. Uncomfortable.

House didn't say anything and walked away.

* * *

20 Minutes later Nathaniel was admitted and now had a room with two other kids. Two toddlers. One boy, one girl who were 3 and 4 years old.

So young.

Cameron never left the room, but kept looking at her son,who was laying in the hospital bed, drifting in and out of sleep. She swallowed when a nurse came in and told her, that they had to take something of Nathan's blood. She knew her son was going to cry and held his little miniature hand, as the nurse took some of the boy's blood.

Chase didn't come in yet. Maybe he had a last-minute surgery to attend or something but if Cameron was honest to herself it was much better this way right now. It was already hard for her to have her little baby here. Sick. Afraid. And she had to deal with House aswell who hadn't visited him since Nathaniel had been admitted.

He avoided her and their son.

She sighed and ran a hand through her long, blonde hair. She was tired of all this but she knew that it was her own fault. She'd been too damn scared to deal with her problems and had tried to take the easiest way out: Running away.

Well she'd been wrong with it, because everything turned out getting worse now. She would've to deal with Chase sooner or later, because House knew that _he_ was the father, not Chase. Cameron knew she couldn't lie to Chase any longer but still feared the moment where she would have to talk to him. He'd been estatic when she'd told him she was pregnant. When they'd found out the gender, he'd begun to plan how the nursery would look like and which clothes he would buy for his son. He'd come up with new names for him every day and had told her how proud he was to be the father of her child.

Cameron'd listened to all of this with a heavy heart. In that very moment it'd felt like a frozen shape, only needed to pump blood.

It'd felt like she didn't have a heart at all.

Well. She wasn't that adorable, wasn't she?

* * *

Time went by and Cameron still hadn't left the room. She'd started to read a book she'd left in her car just in case she got boring. Every once in a while she checked on her son and comforted him when he started crying about something.

After a while a nurse came into the room to set up an IV. Cameron smiled at her warmly and soon the nurse left the room again, leaving Cameron all alone in her misery.

Heavy rain drops started hittinh the window and thunderbolds began to lighten the grey, dark sky like golden fences. Cameron 's little baby kept on sleeping and didn't even notice what happened around him. He was just fine. Now.

Cameron looked at the other two children who were in the room aswell and smiled sadly. Their parents had visited them earlier that day. They'd come into the room together, holding hands and comforting each other.

Cameron would never have that. She would have to go through this alone.

She turned around when someone came through the door, first thinking it was a nurse again but soon realized she was wrong when two piercing blue eyes stared at her.

´What are you doing here?´

´Just checking out how you were doing. Well it seems like you are fine, so...´

He started to turn around.

´House...wait.´

He rolled his eyes and turned around again.

´What do you want Cameron?´

´You came all the way here just to check on how we were doing?´

House only shrugged.

Cameron laughed bitterly.

´What do you want me to say? ´Hey Cameron. I have a son? Great, lets play happy family´?´

Cameron didn't say anything.

´Well I think you know way better than this. I can't do that. It's in the nature of every human being that they are lying, cheating and running away just to turn things right for their own good. Well, you proved my theory. End of story.´

Cameron looked up with tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't want to be like other people. She _wasn't_ like other people.

´_I'm sorry_. I already told you that. I never wanted to hurt you. It never was about _me_. Just about him.´, she whispered, pointing to her son who was still asleep.

´He deserves a father who really loves him, who likes to spend time with him, who admires and adores him. And sorry about that, but you really don't fall in that kind of category.´

´Well, you will never find out if you are right or not´, House whispered and looked down.

Cameron sighed and closed her eyes. A tear ran down her cheek.

´He will always be your son and if you want to visit him...or anything else I won't get in the way.´

She knew it wasn't about her. She had to shove her feelings for him aside.

It was over wasn't it? She'd destroyed the chance to be with the man she was in love with for 4 years now and as bitter and sad as it was: She had to accept, that she'd lost him. But still she wanted to fight for _one_ thing: Giving Nathaniel the father he deserved.

´House I....´

House turned around when someone cleared his throat and moved the glass door.

_Chase._

* * *

Well...Did Chase hear everything or not? We will see.=) **Please review!!!!**


	8. Fighting

Hello there you guys.:) Thanks for your reviews.:) Here is the next chapter. **Please review!!!**

* * *

_´Hi Ally, what´s the matter?´_

_´Chase?It´s Nathaniel. He vomited and has a fever of 103. I´m on my way to PPTH now.´_

_´I will be right there.´_

_´Ok.´_

Cameron closed her eyes. She had to tell him. She already felt guilty for letting him believe he was the father of her son but she had the gut feeling that telling him about her sons sudden illness now was wrong either.

A vicious circle.

**10 minutes later...**

House ran his hand down his face, still glancing at the whiteboard when Cameron rushed into the conference room, carrying her son in her arms.

´House?´

He turned around and stared at the little boy, who was clinging onto his mothers neck for dear life, whimpering softly.

House swallowed hard and looked away. He couldn't stand looking into her eyes at the moment. Too many things had happened between them.

´What do you want now?´

´Something is wrong with him. He vomited two times in a row and has a fever of 103. What´s wrong with him? I don´t think that he has the flu or something.´

´We will see. Maybe you just freaked out about nothing and _it is_ the flu.´

Cameron rolled her eyes at him and followed House down to the clinic. She felt uncomfortable and didn't even know why she'd paged House in the first place but when it came to him it seemed that she always did things that weren't in her nature.

_She was in love with this man after all._

The clinic, of course, was a madhouse. Doctors ran around from one room to the other, files clutched in their hands;Patients coughed, sneezed and behaved like they'd catched a terminal illness.

Cameron kept on walking.

´Shh Baby. It will be ok´, Cameron whispered and placed a kiss on the babys cheek but it didn't really help. The little boy started crying as soon as House began to check him out. Listening to his breathes, checking his temperature.

Cameron stroked Nathan's back, while House checked out the inside of his son's mouth, which turned out fine. The boy's blood pressure was low.

´We should admit him. I think it is nothing serious but I want to run some tests just to be sure.´

Cameron swallowed and nodded silently, avoiding his gaze. She couldn't look him in the eyes. She felt guilty. Sad. Uncomfortable.

House didn't say anything and walked away.

* * *

20 Minutes later Nathaniel was admitted and now had a room with two other kids. Two toddlers. One boy, one girl who were 3 and 4 years old.

So young.

Cameron never left the room, but kept looking at her son,who was laying in the hospital bed, drifting in and out of sleep. She swallowed when a nurse came in and told her, that they had to take something of Nathan's blood. She knew her son was going to cry and held his little miniature hand, as the nurse took some of the boy's blood.

Chase didn't come in yet. Maybe he had a last-minute surgery to attend or something but if Cameron was honest to herself it was much better this way right now. It was already hard for her to have her little baby here. Sick. Afraid. And she had to deal with House aswell who didn't show up since Nathaniel had been admitted.

He avoided her and their son.

She sighed and ran a hand through her long, blonde hair. She was tired of all this but she knew that it was her own fault. She'd been too damn scared to deal with her problems and had tried to take the easiest way out: Running away.

Well she'd been wrong with it, because everything turned out getting worse now. She would've to deal with Chase sooner or later, because House knew that _he_ was the father, not Chase. Cameron knew she couldn't lie to Chase any longer but still feared the moment where she would have to talk to him. He'd been estatic when she'd told him she was pregnant. When they'd found out the gender, he'd begun to plan how the nursery would look like and which clothes he would buy for his son. He'd come up with new names for him every day and had told her how proud he was to be the father of her child.

Cameron'd listened to all of this with a heavy heart. In that very moment it'd felt like a frozen shape, only needed to pump blood.

It'd felt like she didn't have a heart at all.

Well. She wasn't that adorable, wasn't she?

* * *

Time went by and Cameron still hadn't left the room. She'd started to read a book she'd left in her car just in case she got boring. Every once in a while she checked on her son and comforted him when he started crying about something.

After a while a nurse came into the room to set up an IV. Cameron smiled at her warmly and soon the nurse left the room again, leaving Cameron all alone in her misery.

Heavy rain drops started hittinh the window and thunderbolds began to lighten the grey, dark sky like golden 's little baby kept on sleeping and didn't even notice what happened around him. He was just fine. Now.

Cameron looked at the other two children who were in the room aswell and smiled sadly. Their parents had visited them earlier that day. They'd come into the room together, holding hands, comforting each other.

Cameron would never have that. She would have to go through this alone.

She turned around when someone came through the door, first thinking it was a nurse again but soon realized she was wrong when two piercing blue eyes stared at her.

´What are you doing here?´

´Just checking out how you were doing. Well it seems like you are fine, so...´

He started to turn around.

´House...wait.´

He rolled his eyes and turned around again.

´What do you want Cameron?´

´You came all the way here just to check on how we were doing?´

House only shrugged.

Cameron laughed bitterly.

´What do you want me to say? ´Hey Cameron. I have a son? Great, lets play happy family´?´

Cameron didn't say anything.

´Well I think you know it better than this. I can't do that. It's in the nature of every human being that they are lying, cheating and running away just to turn things right for their own good. Well, you proved my theory. End of story.´

Cameron looked up with tears welling up in her eyes. She didn't want to be like other people. She _wasn't_ like other people.

´_I'm sorry_. I already told you that. I never wanted to hurt you. It never was about _me_. Just about him.´, she whispered, pointing to her son who was still asleep.

´He deserves a father who really loves him, who likes to spend time with him, who admires and adores him. And sorry about that, but you really don't fall in that kind of category.´

´Well, you will never find out if you are right or not´, House whispered and looked down.

Cameron sighed and closed her eyes. A tear ran down her cheek.

´He will always be your son and if you want to visit him...or anything else I won't get in the way.´

She knew it wasn't about her. She had to shove her feelings for him aside.

It was over wasn't it? She'd destroyed the chance to be with the man she was in love with for 4 years now and as bitter and sad as it was: She had to accept, that she'd lost him. But still she wanted to fight for _one_ thing: Giving Nathaniel the father he deserved.

´House I....´

House turned around when someone cleared his throat and moved the glass door.

_Chase._

* * *

Well...Did Chase hear everything or not? We will see.=) **Please review!!!!**


	9. Thinking

Hello everybody. Holy sh!t. It's really hot out there. Better write a new chapter before the wheather changes.:D Thank you for the really means a lot to me. Thank you!

* * *

´Am I interrupting something?´

Chase looked at them confused. Not sad. Not even angry. Just confused.

Cameron sighed in relief. Chase hadn't heard anything. House turned around and looked at Chase first, then at Cameron again.

´Well, your toy-boy is here now. But _please_. Don't do it in front of a baby, will ya?´ He grabbed his cane and started walking away.

´We aren't down yet House.´

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned around.

´Yes we are.´, he whispered and continued walking.

Chase looked after him and then walked further into the room.

'What was _that_ about?', he asked pointing at the door.

Cameron just shook her head and looked out the window.

It was still raining.

Cameron took her baby's hand in her own, rubbing a thump over his knuckles as she looked at her son tiredly. She avoided looking at Chase and she knew it was lame but she couldn't help it. She was still too afraid to talk to him.

'How is he?' Chase took a chair and sat down next to Cameron. He could see that she was avoiding his gaze since he came here.

_What did he do this time?_ he wondered. He had to fight for her for so many years and even after he'd proposed to her several months ago it seemed like she still couldn't open up to him.

´Better´, she whispered and looked at her son, who was sleeping peacefully.

'Allison. What's wrong?' He took her hand in his and rubbed it lightly. She looked at him, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't. She just couldn't. It would destroy her, tore her apart. She wasn't a person that hurt her loved ones. She wasn't a person that acted without thinking about it first.

Who was she? What happened with the old Allison Cameron?

She used to be honest. She _needed_ to be honest. He!!, she even used to be the one, who wanted to save the world. Well, everyone else wanted it that way. Her parents, her friends, her co-workers. She was the nice one, right?

Cameron loved bitterly and removed Chase's hand from hers.

'Chase. I'm really tired. I...I just need some time. Everything happened too fast and...'

She was lying through her teeth.

'It's okay.'

She looked at Chase, who smiled at her sadly. He never would be able to win heart, wouldn't he? Someone else had stolen it away and it wasn't _him_.

'Come to me, if you are ready to talk. I'll wait. You know I do.'

She nodded and felt hot tears escaping down her cheek. She sobbed, she hiccupped, she...

'Thank you.' She took Chase into her arms and clung onto his neck, not wanting to let him go yet. He was a good guy and she hated that she couldn't love him the way he deserved. He deserved better. Much better.

* * *

'Hey, you're awake. Good morning.' Cameron scooped her son up and kissed his small cheek lovingly, before hugging him close to her. Nathaniel happily babbled incoherently, playing with Camerons long, blonde hair. Cameron nuzzled her son's neck and breathed in his baby scent.

Strawberry. Peach. Just like baby.

She hadn't left the room since yesterday. After Chase had left she'd cried for 2 hours straight and that night she hadn't been able to get more than 3 hours of sleep.

She felt horrible. Emotionally and physically. She just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Her baby boy. Her son. She always wanted to be a mother. Now she was and couldn't deal with it because her mind was somewhere else. She felt like she didn't focus on her son enough. She felt horrible because of that. He used to be the center of her life.

How much more could she take? It was just a matter of time before she would break down. Well, she could avoid it by talking with House and Chase, but she couldn't. Why? She was too damn scared to hurt someone. She was scared about being alone. She'd already lost House. She would lose Chase either, if he would know the truth about Nathaniel.

She was selfish, wasn't she?

'I'm so sorry honey', she whispered and hugged her baby even closer, before letting her tears fall freely. The tears dropped onto the baby's soft curls. Nathaniel just continued playing with his mother's hair happily. He didn't know that she was suffering.

* * *

_13 in the afternoon._

The nurse had asked Cameron to leave her son's room, because the doctor wanted to run some tests. She'd agreed reluctantly and had left the room to get a cup of coffee in the cafeteria.

She sat at a lone table in the corner and sipped from her coffee, when Wilson joined her.

'Mind if I join you?'

Cameron smiled

'Of course not.'

Wilson put his tray on the table and looked at her.

'What?'

'How are you?´

´I'm fine. Thanks for asking.´

Wilson knew she was lying. He looked at her could tell she was suffering and didn't want anyone to notice.

'Did you talk with House yet?', he asked quietly, his brown puppy-dog eyes unwavering as he looked into her blue-green ones.

She sighed. Wilson was House's best friend. She should've known that he would ask her sooner or later.

'He came to see us yesterday.'

She looked down at her half-eaten salat and suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

'It's complicated Wilson.'

'Why?House gave you a hard time?'

Cameron sighed again.

'It's not that....he, he has every right to be angry. But...I can't! I can't tell Chase that he isn't the father. I just can't.'

'Cameron...I know you hate to hurt other people, especially those who you care about...BUT: It isn't fair to Chase to keep lying. He might be angry, devestated and all...but if you keep lying to him, it will get worse. You HAVE to tell him.'

Cameron looked at him. Of course he was right. But it wasn't that easy to swallow her pride. She was too scared about the consequences.

Wilson took her hand in his.

Cameron stared back at him in suprise, tears shimmering in her eyes. She opened her mouth and waved her hand in little circles, trying to form the reason into words. It didn't work. Of course.

'Im scared to be all alone Wilson. I don't know if I can do all of this alone. I know I should've thought about that sooner but I was sure that House wouldn't care. I thought he would abandon his son and would be happy that we were out of his life. I was with Chase and he...he really loved him, so I let him believe he was the father...When I slept with House Chase and I weren't together....'

She broke down and cried. Sobbed. She really had to contain herself, because they sat in a cafeteria full of nurses who loved to gossip around the hospital.

Wilson moved from his seat, knelt beside her and put an arm around her. After letting her emotions run its short course, she looked at him thankfully.

'Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder. I know I'm too weak at the moment. Sorry.'

'It's okay Allison. I totally understand your worries, but you have to do something if you really don't want to end up alone. Chase could find out about Nathan without you telling him and then he will leave you anyway. And finding everything out _that way_ will hurt Chase even more.'

Cameron thought about it and knew Wilson was right about that, too. She nodded.

'You're right.', she sighed.

* * *

'Well, everything looks fine. It was just the flu but since he's still small I can understand why you would bring him here.' The nurse smiled at Cameron, who hugged her baby close.

'Thank god', she whispered and played with her son's curly hair.

'You can take him home with you tomorrow.'

'Thank you', Cameron said, thankful, that everything was over. Her baby was ok.

The nurse left and Cameron sat on her bed with Nathan in her arms.

'Did you hear that buddy? You'll come home with Mommy tomorrow. Huh?' The baby babbled and played with Camerons necklace. Cameron laughed heartily and hugged her son even closer, before kissing his soft cheek over and over again.

'Mommy loves you so much.'

She felt content in her own little world, where her problems couldn't reach her and nightmares hadn't a chance to haunt her.

A pair of blue eyes kept on watching behind the glass wall.

* * *

Please review. What do you think?Should Cameron talk with House again or should she give up on him?


	10. Admitting

Hello you sooo much for all the YOU!Here is the next chapter and I hope you like it. So...Enjoy or not.^^

* * *

_time brings out the sun and the rain,  
time brings joy andpain,  
time turns men from boys,  
time gives you a choice,  
time is beautiful,  
time is sad at a funeral,  
time brings out the best of me,  
time brings you out of misery,  
time is a mistery,  
time creates history,  
time is something you can't rewind,  
time is something you can't search or find,  
time could make you lose or win,  
time makes all of us sin,  
time could be the enemy or the friend,  
time has a beginning but no end._

_by Jose Murguia.  
_

_.  
_

Two months. A lot changed in those two months. Her son gave her his first laugh two weeks ago. A wide spit wad smile, with a goofy look in his eyes.

It had made her so proud.

Cameron sighed at the memory of it. Sure, moments like that made her proud...happy even! But still... it wasn't the same to have to experience them alone. His father should've seen it,too.

But he didn't.

Cameron looked at the overflow of dirty dishes in her sink. She closed her eyes and squeezed a lone tear out of her left eye, before sniffing slightly. She scrubbed at the never ending pile and started thinking about how lonely she felt. She knew she had her son, a few good friends, her parents. Despite all that she still felt alone...somehow. Someone was missing.

_He_ was missing.

She could hear her son babbling happily in the living room. Chase had moved out a month ago, right after she'd told him the truth about Nathaniel.

At least she had the courage to talk to Chase. Finally. One problem less to think about. Now she had to face the consequence she had feared all along: Nathan and her were alone now.

And she felt guilty for hurting Chase.

**_Flashback..._**

_She leaned against the doorframe and watched father and son playing peek-a-boo. Cameron blinked and a small smile crossed her face, but her heart was burning. She had to tell him. NOW! She couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't keep lying like that. It was just too much for her to handle. She walked further into the living room and sat beside them. She took Nathans hand and stroked his little cheek sadly, knowing full well, that the happy times were over now._

_´Chase?´_

_Chase looked at her._

_´Why do you whisper?Is everything alright?´ He looked at Nat and then at Cameron again._

_´What's the matter?´he asked slowly, knowing that something _bad_ was about to come._

_Cameron looked down and tried to force her tears back. _

_´We have to talk...´ _

_Chase let go of Nathan and put him in the baby-carrier which rested on the coffee table. He sat beside her again and tried to look into her eyes, but he couldn't because she'd turned her face away from him._

_´It is over, isn't it?´_

_Cameron looked at him, tears falling freely now._

_´Chase...´_

_´I always knew, that you would never be able to forget about _him_.´_

_´Chase...this isn't about him...´ _A lie_  
_

_´I'll never know what you see in him but I know, that I will never be as good as he is.´ Chase looked at his hands, which were resting on his lap._

_´You never opened up to me. It took you two damn years to offer me a turned my first proposal down, without thinking about me and about my feelings. It'd hurt me deeply and it was damn hard for me to ask you again 3 months later, because I was scared you would turn me down again...´_

_Chase looked at her and she started feeling guilty again. _

_´Sometimes I had the strange feeling you would be turning into a female replica of House.´_

_´Chase...´_

_´Let me finish.´_

_She nodded._

_´At times you are just so...cold. When I want to put an arm around you I can feel you clench and it seems, that those arms are not the ones, you want to be in. Sometimes you bark at me without a reason and when I want to kiss you, you always turn away, saying you would be too tired to make out or something. I aren't even allowed to kiss you anymore. Just tell my why? What did I do wrong?´_

_He looked at her and she gasped when she saw, that Chase was at the verge of tears, his light, blue eyes sparkling with sadness._

_´Chase. You did nothing wrong. Really. I tried everything.´_

_She walked over to the baby carrier and scooped her son up into her arms. _

_She needed him._

_ Then she returned to her place on the couch and continued...  
_

_´At first I tried my hardest to get House to like me...but it didn't work. After that I tried to forget about him, to not love him, to hate him like most people do but that proved to be harder than I thought....´_

_She took a deep breath._

_´And then I quit. I finally distanced myself from him and wanted to start a new life without him. But it didn't work either.´_

_Chase looked away from her.  
_

_´I hate myself Chase. I really do. I hate the fact, that I don't feel content in your arms and can't love you the way you deserve. But I can't get that cold, abrasive, rude asshole out of my mind.´_

_She looked down sadly._

_´I need him and it is hard enough to know, that it will always be the same. I will never be able to forget about him Chase. I...I just can't.´_

_She looked at him and could see how hurt he was. Of course he felt hurt._

_´Did you sleep with House Cameron?´ He called him Cameron, not Allison. A bad sign.  
_

_He'd asked her that once a few months ago but she hadn't answered the question then. _

_He had to know because suddenly it started to make sence to him. She'd never denied that she'd slept with House.  
_

_Cameron closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Chase nodded bitterly, knowing that this was answer enough for him. He looked at the baby in her arms and saw those piercing blue eyes peering up at him. He never realised how blue they were. He'd trusted Ally too much to even think about the fact that she could've slept with House._

_´He isn't mine, right?´ he whispered and looked at the tiny boy in Camerons arms. He'd been so blind. Stupid._

_´No´, she whispered and started crying again._

_´I´m so sorry Chase. I never wanted to hurt you.´_

_**End of Flashback...**_

Chase had quit two days later and moved to Australia without telling anyone. Just Cuddy had tried to call him, but he'd changed his number and didn't left an address or something. It seemed like he didn't want anything to do with anybody from PPTH.

Maybe it was better that way, but the thought just killed Cameron. She'd hurt Chase deeply. She never wanted that. The next days after telling Chase had been very hard for her. She had been depressed and got really sick very often. The baby she'd to care for _alone_, hurting Chase and the fact, that House ignored her and his son were too much for her.

Now...weekes later Cameron felt a little better.

Cameron sighed again and dropped the dishes she'd been working on for two hours. She had a dishwasher. Why didn't she use it right away?

She shook her head and headed torwards the living room, where Nathan sat in his bouncy-chair. She smiled lightly and picked the baby up in her arms.

´Hey sweetie´, she whispered and hugged him closer to her. She placed him on the couch and tickled his stomach. The little boy giggled happily and wriggled his little legs.

´You're a happy baby right?Yes you are.´ Cameron had a huge and warm smile on her face now and leaned down to kiss the babys cheek.

´I love you with all of my heart Nathaniel.´ Since he had no father it seemed like she had to love the little boy even more, but that wasn't possible. She couldn't think she could love anyone more powerful than him. He needed to know it everyday and someday he would understand...

She looked at the watch and sighed, before looking at her son again. She needed some time for herself. Some time to think. She put her son down carefully and grabbed her phone.

´Hey mom, it's me Allison.´

´Hey honey, what's up?´

´Uhm. Could you come over for a few hours? I wanted to get out a bit and need someone to take care of Nathan.´

´Oh, I would love to. When can I come? Now? In 15 minutes? When? I don't care.´

Cameron smiled. Her mother LOVED her grandson and couldn't get enough from him. Cameron knew she could call her mom, because she knew her son was safe in his grannys arms.

´Uhm 15 minutes are alright. Thanks mum.´

´No problem honey. I will be there in 15. Bye.´

´Bye.´

Cameron hung up and turned her attention to the little boy again, who looked up at her curiosly.

´Did you hear that buddy? Granny is coming over now.´

Nathan simply blinked up at her.

_Ding-Dong._

Cameron opened her front door and welcomed her mother, who was beaming from ear to ear.

´Hello honey. How are you? Where is he?´

Cameron laughed and pointed at the little boy, who was sitting in his bouncy-chair.

´There he is´, Ms. Cameron squealed, looking like Jesus had returned to earth.

Cameron rolled her eyes and closed the door behind her.

´Thank you for watching him Mom.´

Ms. Cameron smiled warmly and pulled her daughter into a tight hug.

´Don't worry sweety. I know, I know you need a time out...Where are you going anyway?´

´Uhm...I don't know yet. Maybe I'll go get a drink or something.´

´Alone?´

´Nah, I will ask Lisa or Remy. I don't know.´

Cameron smiled and put on her jacket. She went to her son, who was in his granny's arms and placed a kiss on his forehead and cheek.

´Please behave, honey. Mommy will be home soon. I promise.´

The little boy looked at her confused and turned to look at his grandma, who was beaming at him.

´Have fun baby.´

´Thank you Mom.´

Then she was out the door.

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Sooo!What do you think?Where will Cameron go now?Or where do you want Cameron to go?Tell me what you think.**Please review!!!**


	11. I need you

Hello. Thanks for the reviews...here is the next chapter. Have a nice day and **please review**!!!

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She wanted to get drunk.

Now she sat there, looking at her drink in front of her. Silver liquid swimming in her glass. Bitter. Soothing.

She would forget about everything soon. One night. Two sips. The alcohol would make her pain go away.

_The demon hates me  
claws at my chest  
inflicting invisible anxiety.  
I hate the demon  
so I keep his tongue dry;  
his balls fit perfectly in my fist  
outstretched to Heaven-  
Where my offering is accepted, and ousted._

She looked around and sighed. There were only a couple of people seated at the bar, all talking and laughing about their daily life. Well. Her daily life had been a nightmare the last few weeks. The only reason to live for was her son. Just thinking about the fact that he waited for her at home and needed her made her strong enough to go on.

She had to move on but knew it would be hard. She wasn't whole. Something was missing.

_He_ was missing.

A man she'd been fighting for for years.

She'd lost the fight long ago.

´What are you doing?´, she asked herself quietly, pausing to push her drink forward to the edge of the bar. She put a coaster on top of the glass letting the bartender know she didn't want a refill.

She sighed and looked at her glass with sad, blue-green eyes. She didn't notice what was going on around her. Laughing people, clicking glasses, yelling from far away.

´Hey Phil. Vodka-Energy please.´ The guy beside her swayed a little, but she tried to ignore him. She knew right away that he was looking at her with interest.

Being pretty could be both heaven and hell.

´Hey Lady.´ Cameron looked up and stared at the guy who received his ordered drink. He swallowed it down quickly and wipped his mouth.

Cameron could already smell his alcohol breath. He started to come closer to her. It made her feel sick. She moved in her seat a little, trying to make him go away. She wanted him to know she wasn't interested and hold up one hand.

´Please leave me alone´, she said harshly and looked away.

´Wow. You're sexy you know that?´ She could feel his hand stroking her knee and started to panic.

´I said go away´, she yelled and hopped off the booth. He grabbed her arm. The other people didn't do anything, probably thinking he was just joking around but Cameron knew he wasn't. She wanted to scream, wanted to punsh him but she hadn't the energy to do so. She felt too weak.

´Let go off her.´ Someone was pushing the guy away now. Cameron looked up.

´House.´

´Yeah, the one and only.´ House looked at the guy who was too drunk to fight against him. Probably feeling sick all of a sudden, both Cameron and House watched the guy running to the toilets.

´Thank you.´ She looked at him but he avoided her gaze.

´Yeah whatever´, he mumbled and ordered a drink for himself. Cameron didn't know what to do.

´What are you doing here anway?Shouldn't you be at home with the little wombat?´

Cameron sighed.

´He is NOT a wombat House. He's...´

´Yeah,yeah the cutest kid in the whole wide world. I get it. Now leave me alone. I want to get drunk in peace.´ He swallowed the yellow liquid and ordered another one.

´House...we need to talk.´

´Nah. I don't think so. There is nothing left to say. I told you that.´

´HOUSE.´

He looked at her. She was fighting back tears.

´I-i can't sleep. I can't stop thinking of you and feel guilty for what I've done to you every minute. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to feel guilty. I miss you. I need you. I-´

´Would you just shut up?´ She looked at him suprised.

She blinked and bit her lip.

´You don't have to feel guilty´, he said quietly and took a sip of his drink.

´But I do feel guilty House. I never wanted to hurt you. I gave you a way out of everything. I thought it would be right. I thought you didn't want to be involved...´

´You never asked me´, he said softly and looked at her with deep blue eyes.

Cameron looked down ashamed. He was right. She'd never given him the chance to prove otherwise or decide for himself what he would like to do about it.

´He deserves a father.´ She smiled sadly and used her finger to draw circles around the glassy table. She couldn't look him in the eyes.

´Do you want to be involved in his life?´ Her heart was beating fast. She _had_ to know if there was still a chance.

´I don't know...´

Cameron sighed.

´House...´

´I'm not good at this kind of stuff. Babies and all. He probably will be afraid of me.´

Cameron laughed softly. This was absurd.

´I don't want to hurt him Cameron.´

She looked at him and felt the tears she'd tried to hold back for so long running down her cheeks now.

_He was afraid of hurting his son._

´You are scared,right?´

House looked at her and nodded.

´You think you are going to do the same mistakes your father did,right?´

_She knew him too well. She'd always been good at reading him. No one was able to look inside of him just as good as she did._

House sighed.

´You are nothing like your father House.´

´How do you know that?´ _He was confused._

´I KNOW....I know it.´ _She was honest._

Both turned away from each other and looked at the people around them.

´God, I'm sick of all those idiots. Let's get out of here.´ House grabbed his cane and tossed a twenty onto the bar before turning to Cameron.

´You coming?´

Cameron blinked and nodded before following him out of the pub.

_Fresh air._

´Where are you going House?´

He looked at her and shrugged his shoulders.

´What do we do now?´ Cameron looked at him. _What is he talking about?_

House rolled his eyes. Her blonde hair wasn't doing any good to her brains,huh?

´Well about our son.´ _Our son? _It felt strange for House to say that.

´Would you like to see him now?Spending some time with him?´

Silence.

He didn't know what to do.

**_Yes or no?_**

Suddenly it felt like angel and devil were sitting on his shoulders. He could hear the angel say: _Go. It is your last chance to be happy._

House sighed and heard the devil yell:_ Run. Run and don't look back. She will hurt you like all the others did before. Do you want to get hurt again?_

Two titans were fighting against each other: Heart vs. Head.

Who would win?

House started to lose control of himself.

´House?´ She looked at him hopefully.

He tried to think about the past years.

The day she'd appeared in his office for the job interview.

All the moments she hadn't left his side. She'd always been around. Even after she'd quit she didn't leave him for long. She'd returned and now worked just a few feet away from him.

She was still there.

She'd always been there.

He hated to admit it but...

He _needed_ her. He didn't know if it was love, but he knew for sure that he needed her.

´I would like to see him.´

Cameron looked shocked at first but soon the shocked expression softened and her face lit up like a christmas-tree.

Cameron beamed at him, tears spilling down her cheeks.

The fight was over.

_Winner: Heart._

_Loser: Head.  
_

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What do you think?:) Please let me would be sooooo great.:D


	12. Father and son

Hello everybody. Here is the next chapter and I really hope you´ll like it! **Please review!!!**

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He couldn't be a dad.

A dad was a loving person. A person who would know what was on his son's mind. A person who would listen, suggest and defend. A person who would be patient if anything went wrong.

A father meant so many things…

An understanding heart, a source of strength and support, a constant readiness to help.

A dad would be his son's best friend, the calm of a quiet sea.

How could he be like that? He'd never cared for another person in his life. Everything had been about him.

He could forget about this now. He had a son to take care of and even he wasn't that cruel to leave Cameron alone.

He loved her. He loved _him_. But he would never admit it. He would be there for them. That had to be enough.

´House, are you ok? ´

He stood clutching his cane so hard that his knuckles turned white. She knew this was hard for him and regretted that she kind of sprung all this being-a-father-stuff on him.

´Great´, he nodded and turned to look away from her again.

Cameron sighed and took her house keys from her purse.

´I think my mom will be thrilled to meet you´, Cameron said with a grin on her face and grinned even more when she saw the look on Houses face.

´Your-´

´Do you think I leave my son with some strangers yet? He's only a few weeks old.´

´Well then I'm glad that you decided to get wasted in a bar instead of taking care of your _very young_ son then.´

´I never planned to get wasted´, lied Cameron and opened the door to her house. She went in and turned around to look at House, who didn't move but looked at her.

´You wanted to see him, don't you? ´

He rolled his eyes and sighed before hobbling in and closing the door behind him. He looked around and could smell baby powder and fresh laundry.

Would he ever get used to things like that?

Cameron watched with a touch of annoyed amusement as he touched the silver picture frame that hung on the wall. It was a picture of her and her dead husband.

It was the only picture hanging on the wall.

´Stop snooping around´, said Cameron and grabbed Houses arm.

´Hello? ´

House and Cameron turned around.

Suddenly a middle aged woman stood in the hallway with a book in one and a cup of tea in the other hand.

´Hey Mum. How is it going? ´

´Fine. You are here early.´ The older woman smiled at her daughter, before turning her gaze at House.

´Who is this? ´ she asked and pointed at House who swallowed hard and looked around the room nervously.

´This is Greg House. He´s-´

´I am her ex-boss and thought I could give Cam-eh Allison a visit, so we could like…hanging around´, he answered for her.

The older woman looked at Cameron, before smiling at House.

´Amanda Cameron´ she said and shook his hand before turning to her daughter again.

´Nathan fell asleep ten minutes ago.´

Cameron nodded and looked at House nervously.

Amanda smiled at them and went to the kitchen where she put the now empty cup into the dishwasher. Cameron followed her and gave her a warm hug.

´Thanks for taking care of him Mom. You can go now if you want.´

´Sure thing Sweetheart´, Amanda answered and went out to the hallway to grab her coat. After putting it on she ran a hand through her grayish hair and checked her make-up before turning to her daughter once again.

´I will call you the day after tomorrow, ok? We still have to talk about Aunt Elisabeth's birthday.´

´Sure Mom and thank you.´ Cameron hugged her mother once more and watched as she held one hand out to House.

´Good evening Dr. House.´

House hesitantly took it and nodded. Cameron could say that House felt really uncomfortable near her mom but who didn't?

She looked like a dominant and independent woman.

After closing the front door Cameron turned around and looked at House who watched her with intense blue eyes.

´Does she know that I am the father?´

Cameron looked away from him and bit her lip. She hadn't had the heart to tell her mom the truth.

´No...she doesn't. I-I couldn't tell her-´

´It`s okay´, said House and looked her in the eyes. He hoped she would notice that this was his way to show her, that he was there for her.

Always.

He had no other choice.

Not anymore.

They stood there in silence for a few minutes, both trying to find the right words before looking at each other again.

´I think I can forget about seeing him now right?´

Cameron looked at him confused.

´Why?´

´Well now that he´s asleep-´

´Waaaaaaahhhhh.´

´Well well, you are very lucky House´, grinned Cameron and went to the nursery. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a quick loud huff, he followed Cameron into the depths of the hall.

He stood in the doorframe and watched mother and child.

Cameron bent over the crib and scooped her son up into her arms.

´Hey honey´, she whispered and placed a soft kiss on his forehead and cheek. Then she turned around and looked at House, who just stood there and stared at the little boy in her arms.

She could feel how nervous he was when she started walking over to him.

´House. You act like you´ve never met him´, she laughed and looked at her son, who was peering up at her curiously.

´Do you want to see your daddy again? ´ The little boy cooed and looked at the strange man in front of him.

House looked at him and sighed as an abrupt warmness filled his chest. It felt so strange to him, even if this feeling wasn't a new one.

He had felt that way before…

It was like the first time he´d seen him in his mother's arms, or during the days the little boy had to spend in the hospital.

He _knew_ how it felt but had to accept, that he would never get used to this.

Suddenly a smile lit up Nathan's small face and he reached out his arms toward House, while cooing softly.

Perhaps it was this unexpected gesture of trust that caused House to come crashing back to reality or maybe it was simply the warring emotions in his head. He slowly stretched his arms out and took the little boy from his mother.

Cameron just smiled and felt tears running down her cheek.

She'd never seen a more perfect picture.

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Please tell me what you think.;)


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